July 3, 2012

Trifecta -- Week 34 -- The Giver

I want to tell people the truth: they take and take and take and take without giving in return but still they take take take take and when there should exist nothing more to get they take some more, and they should not. Push. So. Hard. -- or -- Grab. So. Much. without considering replenishing the well that is I.

I fear the fireworks. It terrifies me so much that I cannot breathe. I imagine if I told them an ounce of how rude and horrible and mean they are, if I said anything at all ...

So I stay still, and quiet, and proffer my everything with my head bowed in the hope that they will one day see that they take too much.

Yes. I know.

I am broken too.

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This is my entry for this week's Trifecta Writing Challenge, after many weeks of absence. In its way, it seems like a lifetime, but taking a small step back into the fray is, indeed, comforting. I've missed you.

As usual, we are using the third definition of a word selected by those crafty-but-cute Trifecta editors. I personally picture them with horns.

FIREWORKS (noun)

1: a device for producing a striking display by the combustion of explosive or flammable compositions
2: plural a display of fireworks
3: plural
a : display of temper or intense conflict
b : a spectacular display

18 comments:

  1. I think the fireworks could be cathartic. And feel pretty damn good too.
    Glad you're getting it out where you can.
    <3

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    1. Thanks toots. I don't think the fireworks sound all that good, but that is my perspective. Sometimes there are irretrievable things from fireworks ... that's kinda scary.

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  2. That's a terrible feeling -- I think sometimes embracing the fireworks is better.

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    1. maybe ... but what if it isn't? =D

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  3. I think her fireworks will come eventually. I love that last line about her being broken, too.

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    1. Thanks Janna, yes, I think you are right. And the last line may be my favourite line too. Afterall, she can't say what she needs to and there is nothing healthy about that, is there.

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  4. Those fireworks are terrifying, no lie. Boundaries are so hard, especially when they're your own. I imagine a dozen scenarios a day when I'm telling someone off or telling the air why I'm so angry about (insert injustice here). How do we push back without pushing away? Maybe let out one tiny firecracker at a time?

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  5. Oh, and nice job. small and powerful. I'm pulling for that lighted match...

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    1. Thank you and why does it not surprise me that you would suggest a strike to dry tinder here ...

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  6. I have friends who live that way, always giving in order to avoid a confrontation. If I'm not careful, Scott goes into the same mode. Anything but an argument for him. Me? I'm a walking firework. I send out sparks everywhere.

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    1. I look like a walking firework to people with tight internal lives, however, it is only a front. I know I look pretty dangerous ...

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  7. I want to reach in and pull branches over her to protect her from the assailment and hope that she soon realizes they will never see that. There is strength in knowing ourselves, as she knows she is broken too.
    Thanks for joining in with us again. We hope to see you again for the weekend challenge.

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    1. Someone should pull some branches over her, quick! but honestly, I think she knows that the only one who can truthfully rescue her is herself. It is just a trick of balance, a fine, fine balance.

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  8. Replies
    1. Thanks Amelia. Your thoughts are truly appreciated.

      I think writing this out in such an extreme way helped me to gain some perspective. Today I made my kids pick the raspberries. It's a start, right?

      All kidding aside, I also have put a moratorium on saying yes to everyone except my siblings when it comes to my mom's estate stuff, to my own family, and to a single friend who is totally worthy of my efforts. Ahhhh ... now if only someone would come and organise my house for me, my life would be perfect. (Did you know doing good deeds for others is one of the most perfect procrastination tools I know?)

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