July 22, 2012

Friday Fluff on a Sunday Afternoon in July

This week Joules over at LucidLotusLife completed a Weirdo Survey and then Amelia over at Searching for Amelioration did the same so I thought I would kickstart my writing career and make this jazz a microtrend by forcing myself to do the same.

I dunno why it is dubbed the Weirdo Survey, maybe some weirdo wrote it, but I'm not that fussy so here ya go:

How tall are you barefoot?
It depends. Am I pregnant? (I'm not pregnant.)

Have you ever smoked heroin?

Listen. I freaked something awful at someone else who decided in a bar we worked that I needed to watch her snort coke in a bathroom stall late one night because THAT would be the night the joint got busted ... so you tell me. Have I ever smoked heroin?

Do you own a gun?
A water gun. Yes. But I don't allow my kids to touch it. I don't want to hear the girls yelling that the boy shot them in the eye. That bickering drives me insane.

Does eating-disordered loony bin count? Because it should because that's how I used it. So, yes.

Do you get nervous before
hand jobs? Sure. Doesn't everybody?

What do you think of your friends?
If by friends you mean people who read this blog, I think they are brilliant, insightful, beautiful and charming. Did I mention they are brilliant?

If by friends you mean IRL ... I'm working on that. Ha ha, joking. (Sort of). I love my friends very much.

What's your favorite Christmas song?
Have You Ever Been Mellow?

What. I have to listen to stuff like that at Christmas time. It keeps me from losing my shit.

What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Irish whiskey in black coffee.

Whipped cream optional.

Perfection includes Irish Mist, but I haven't had that since I stopped working the business lunch shift at local Greek restaurants, completely tanked. That Irish Mist really *makes* the drink.

Do you do push-ups?
I never "do" anything that makes my chin rest on my mammary glands. It just looks silly.

Have you ever done ecstacy?
Yep. 1/2 tab. Once whilst living in Hong Kong and attending our one and only rave, in the basement of a grand hotel. We shared the tab in the cab ride over.

The hotel part made our one-and-only attempt at 90s cool pretty pitiful. The chemical merely made my hair stand on end so I never tried it again. I was disappointed I didn't get all chill and/or lovey.

Are you vegetarian?
I am an opportunist. If you feed me good food, I will eat it.

Do you like painkillers?
I haven't found one that works so ... not really. I'm mostly mad at them.

What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Um, yar. I totally use a secret weapon. I fix them with my death glare, and render them incapable to resist. And then I eat them.

What time did you wake up today?
7.25 am

Current worry?
It is July and my toes are cold.

Current hate?
Reality is a bitch.

Do you own slippers?

Do you burn or tan?
Are we talking S&M here? Because I'd choose tanning someone's hide over burning them any day. I don't like the smell. Now hot wax, that might be different. But did you ever see that movie that Diana Ross was in, where she burned herself by dripping wax down her body? That was crazy. So maybe I'm going to stick with tanning.

What songs do you sing in the shower?
None. Shower is out of commission. It's a new reno, leaks into the downstairs suite like a kid's snotty nose, please don't ask. I bathe in the clawfoot bathtub we romantically installed in the kids playroom.

Don't. Ask.

How many TVs do you have in your house?
We have three TV screens, but we only watch television shows on my small laptop because we do not receive a signal on said TVs. Really, we should give those things away, don't you think?

Do you wish on stars?
Nope. But I hum the tune.

What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
Queen: I Want to Ride my Bicycle. And then we did.

What song do you want played at your funeral?
I do not want a funeral. But if others want when I go, they can do what they'd like. I don't plan on caring. I'll. Be. Dead.

But I wouldn't complain if someone played a young Liza singing Cabaret. Mostly I hope I'll have figured out how to make this song true in my life:

Do you love someone?
Uh huh. Truly madly deeply, I love my husband. I love my friends (online and off), I love my siblings and their kids. And I love my kids, wildly and without reservation.


Credit where it's due:
Lisa over at Seeking Elevation started answering surveys as a Friday Fluff thing a while back ... it's good to see it revived every here and there. Her most recent fluff was completed in the run-up to her marathon solo-with-toddler+preschooler trip from Hong Kong to the Gulf of Mexico and beyond ... pretty sure she needed the distraction at that point as much as I am using this for mine now. I believe she is on the last leg of her journey (the Gulf part) and then she's home again home again jiggity jog.

Take this survey or other Fun Surveys - Fun Myspace Surveys at Fun Surveys - Fun Myspace Surveys. You are so welcome.


  1. I freaking love that picture AND that song. I'm singing it now.
    I'm going to have to google irish mist.

    1. Thanks. We had a good wedding. I planned the whole thing by myself in three weeks flat (with tonnes of little things done by those who love me so not ENTIRELY by myself, but the decisions were mine ...) and had three parties. The bike part was the most real and normal part and, as such, the most memorable.

  2. Best wedding photo EVER.
    But dude, that song makes me the polar opposite of mellow.
    Also, if you had slippers your toes may not be cold any day of the year. #justsayin

    1. I love that photo ... it was on the front of our hand-made (days before digital photos) thank you cards. I had time back then ...

      no slippahs. Nevah.

  3. And way to work in handjobs. Well played, sir.

  4. hee I love these Friday Fluffs!

    1. Thanks! I think they are a great writing exercise ... and I need those ...

  5. I'm reading this while drinking wine and wondering how I got so lucky to have this to read. That, and I keep hearing the little bicycle-bell solo in "I want to ride my bicycle." I had an audition tonight and I thought of you. Dunno why, but you were there in spirit. When I go, I'm gonna GO! LIKE! EL! SIE! Did I ever tell you I saw Liza in concert? A friend and I decided we should see her while she's still around so we trekked to godawful Indian a to a CASINO and saw her. The woman puts on A. SHOW. I wanted to be her best buddy fora ll time. Seriously.

    1. Thank ya JC. This may be one of my all time favourite comments, and absolutely the one I needed today. I am so glad that I went on an audition with you today ... my real life was much more sad and mundane ... a funeral.

      But fitting, with you reminding me of Elsie. My exact point.

      I am totally jealous that you went to a casino to see the queen of cabaret. Zow.