October 18, 2012

Trifecta, Week (Holy Cow) 47 -- Black


This is my entry for this week's Trifecta Writing Challenge.

As usual, we are using the third definition of a word selected by those crafty-but-cute Trifecta editors. I personally picture them with dancing around a cauldron.

This week's word is black.

BLACK

3: dressed in black

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Sartorial Therapy

I wear black. Not sometimes, all the time. Pants, shirts, dresses, coats, skirts, tights, socks and shoes. Black. Sure I have this one bulky hot-pink woolen scarf I knit myself for really cold days, and I did wear a red skirt once. But black is it, down to my pajamas and undergarments.

It may surprise you to know, like the childless and unmarried, one who chooses to wear black is endlessly grilled on why, when will this change, what's wrong with you. Heads shake. I would say "nothing" but that is not entirely truthful. It’s just, you know, what right have you to ask?

Listen. I am colourful enough. I spout opinions, don’t know how to keep quiet. I am loud; I call attention to myself by default. I stick out like an infected, inflamed cuticle.

I don’t need colour.

More significantly, when I was a child, another mercilessly critiqued my wardrobe misfires and the unique items that I wore -- lilac shoes, peach pants, a puffed-sleeved, pinstriped blouse that buttoned up one side of my newly-developed bosom. I still hear that kid’s taunts, others gleefully joining in. That was just the tip of my life of being bullied.

That child is now adult, and wishes I would "stop calling attention to myself" for suffering her behaviour. That was then, this is now, get over it.

But my childhood scars are no different than those of a woman who has had cancers cut from her body: scar tissue left behind hardens over time and irritates the flesh around it. The remedy is for a surgeon to score the tissue with a scalpel. My own remedies are to stand out less or to scratch at the memories 'til I bleed.

My predilection to black drives some people to distraction. On that single day I sport my scarf, they effuse over colour’s cameo in my life as if it changes the world. They present me more colourful items; my rebuff bites hard.

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The rules:
  • Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.
  • You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.
  • The word itself needs to be included in your response.
  • You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.
  • Only one entry per writer.
This week's word is black.



17 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you were picked on for your fashions. However, I will acknowledge that you can wear what makes you comfortable, regardless of what color it is.

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    1. Thanks Cindy. It was only a small corner of the "picked on" and by the time I even reached the intermediate grades (when it started in earnest) I was pretty primed for the experience. Ultimately I am grateful for what I learned.

      I find the people who take the most interest in my choices now to be curious fellows. I mean, usually they are not people who are my actual friends, but rather acquantances, hellbent on introducing me to the world of colour. Thanks. I'm comfortable in my own black-clad skin, folks!

      I also love that my kids are very colour prone, and almost anti-black in their own wardrobes at times. I also love it when my son looks at me in a hot-pink shirt I recently inherited with adoration in his 5 year old eyes. Mom. You look so beeeeauuuuutiful in that pink shirt. I can't lie, I wear it for him. Heh.

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  2. Fascinating. Until I read the first comment and your answer I wasn't sure if this was you or a terrific characterization you constructed. Either way it's very well written. I love the tone and your self aware insight. Great piece. This is my first time visiting your site. I'll be back.

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    1. Thank you Stephanie. I'm so glad you connected with it. I feel honoured that you read it.

      Please come back anytime.

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  3. Ugh, I remember bullies :(

    I like this a lot! Especially the whole "I don't need color" bit. I like to think my imagination is colorful enough to stick out of my head like rainbow tassels even if I choose to wear all black :)

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    1. Perfect. So exactly that, so I am going to use that line next time ... memorizing it now.

      And bullies. The best thing I learned, about 2 years ago (and I am 45) was how to step out of their way. It was the most amazing revelation, after years of either taking it and being stressed, or bullying right back at them. Yes. I did that. But only to push back in defense, never to pick at.

      But I love stepping aside, and watching them go splat on the wall/fence/playground equipment so much better. A revelation.

      Now. If only I could figure out how to fix the bloody politicians ...

      Sigh. Thanks for coming on over, Draug. I'm slowly working my way up the list of stories, in reverse numeric order to ensure that some of the later stories get my comment in case I poop out. But I'll be over to catch yours right away. Uh ... done. Brilliant story!

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  4. Does this mean that you're officially back?!?! Well, we'll take what we can get from you. I love how you took this one person and then threw your heart and soul into it. I love the scar tissue analogy, too. Nice job with the prompt.

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    1. No. I am only living in the moment, and I have a sore, well, you know, so I am here while I am laid up, and I will be here when I can. Time is a tricky thing right now, but there is much possibility I will be able to participate more than I have the last 6.

      Thank you for your kind words. I think the scar tissue thing is true for everyone. But then, I am a big believer in therapy. I just couldn't believe that's what my friend, a young cancer survivor, has to go through physically on a regular basis. Wow.

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  5. "and I did wear a red skirt once." The made me laugh! I wear a lot of black, but simply because it's easier (goes with everything, slimming, blah, blah, blah), but I'm not stuck on it. I was picked on horribly too so i could relate to this!

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    1. Heh. Funny that I am constantly countering people's assumptions that I wear black to be cool, because it is slimming, etc. I am not certain that those are truly effective results of wearing the terrible cuts I sometimes wear. =)

      But the matching thing is totally totally totally true! *snort*. In my occasional forays into colour (like when my newly-wed husband wistfully asked me to colour up my wardrobe) the results when I really woke up midday at one job or another were quite horrifying, even to me. He supports my preference wholeheartedly as a result. Can we say ... train wreck!?

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    2. Oh, and I'm horribly sorry you were picked on. I hope it doesn't affect you too much now, other than to be more empathetic. I'm totally at peace with mine now, but it is my story to tell in as many ways as I choose, so once in a while I use it as material.

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  6. Oh fuck - I at least got to leave my bullies in the tiny town where I grew up. I'd hate to have dragged them into adulthood with me.

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    1. Thank you divine Ms. Jessie. Mine did make a cameo appearance in my life, but the dynamics were bizarre and unpleasant, so she isn't in my adulthood. Except when she is chatting with people that I am connected to on FB. She blocked me (and for my comfort I blocked her back), so I often see one-sided conversations. At first that freaked me out, but I've grown to feel amusement instead. I hope she feels the same.

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  7. Good for you for knowing what you want. I like the bit about "sticking out like an infected, inflamed cuticle" - you clearly have a very precise idea of what you're writing about and your use of metaphors and similes shows that. I wish the peace were less literal, though.

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    1. Thanks, Gabriela, I'm so glad you dropped by. I am not often good with metaphors, but that one seemed to colour things up a bit. And I did a simile?! Really?! (I blame faulty wiring, I am mostly very literal.)

      The old adage, that which doesn't kill me? I am glad that it fits here.

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