March 15, 2010

The Lives of Bullies ... part 2

Made kettlecorn for the first time tonight ... never knew it was as simple as adding sugar to the corn when the oil is hot enough!  Learn something new every day, eh?!

I am not really succeeding at writing everyday ... every night?  Part of the problem is that it is really hard to find the time without losing it from my night's sleep.  The other part would be one of those what stops you conversations.

A couple of weeks ago, I was making the time to write daily.  Writing, and developing my own ideas is hard won for me.  I can help other people make things happen ... edit their work, coach them in their endeavours, but believing in my own ideas and breathing life into them is not nearly as simple.

I know, I know, everybody feels this way.  I get that.  In this mutter, though, I am not going to lose the focus that I struggle with realising my own dreams.  Because I really believe now that I am moving forward, and doing more than just thinking about things I want to do and accomplish, I will.

There.  I've said it.

Anyway ... a couple of weeks ago I was managing to strap my butt into a chair and write, without too much editing (for now) so as to quit censoring myself, when someone that I care deeply about said to those around me (and, by extension, to me), "She THINKS she's a writer!".


Funny thing is that I have been paid to write, and paid reasonably well.  And I have a portfolio of work.  It isn't Shakespeare (yet) but it is written words.  Ergo I am a writer.  But that kind of bullying packs a pretty hefty punch into a fragile and developing confidence.

But what I know to be true, after a week or two of nursing the bruise, is that even the most precious people being awful can't knock a determined individual off course.

This person has always bullied me and others, and it is hard to understand why, because we are the most important people in said person's life.  I am painfully aware that there were events that happened in their life that made them as mean as they are, to themself and those around them ... but why?  What is it that they gain from this behaviour.  And, more importantly, how could a person like that change their ways?

Okay, seeing as this is turning into Bullies, part 2, I might as well delve a little bit further.  This person aside, there is a little person in my life that is showing this same tendency to use bullying with siblings.  Here's the thing:  I don't know if it is nature or nurture, or a combination.  What I do know is that I don't know how to address the issue effectively to help the little person find a healthier way to feel good.  Because ultimately, the kid doesn't look particularly happy as it is happening ... pleased like a cat sometimes, if it is having the right effect on the victim.

How do I address this, what do I do to mitigate the damage, to allow the others to "fight back" or "protect themselves" or ...

thoughts for another day ... something new to write about ...

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