January 3, 2010

getting going ...

ugh.

Starting things is is so painful.  Personally, I would prefer to censor everything I say, but that is simply not working.

Someone I once knew is missing.  He's mid career, and not happy about where he is at.   I took an improv class with this guy in the early 90s.  The one thing he said about finding your voice is to write, every day, just to let things flow without censorship, whether or not the materials make sense or are "good".  To honour his current pain, to stand with him when (hopefully) he is still struggling as opposed to having given up and ended his journey way too early.  Hang in there, man.  The world still needs your integrity, your pain, your comedy and your presence.

I am an older (43) stay-at-home mom who needs to get working on the next step.  My first to kids are in grades one and kindergarten, and my third will start preschool a couple of mornings a week in the fall.  The deal with my guy was always that when we had kids, one of us (the one with the lesser career, which would be moi) would stay at home and raise the kids for their first few years and one of us would continue to support the family.

Okay.  So I am the one staying home.  Once this became established, I proposed that I stay at home for these years that the children are at home, and then I take the first couple of years that they start school to redirect the unfocused career I have had till now.  So ... this blog is going to be the witterings that my friend suggested every creative person should do in order to work information out.  The time to work is now.

This is an exercise in puking whatever I want up on a page.  It is daunting to let it all hang out.  But I am prepared to go where I never really wanted to go, to find my voice.

As much as I know I may occasionally entertain an audience, while you are welcome to witness my blathering, I am not looking for readership at this time per se so forgive me in advance for the lack of skill, talent, content or organisation, those of you that stumble upon these pages.

Karen is muttering.